


I Didn't Mean To

by RandomFujoshi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Drunk Kageyama, Hinata didn't want to be touched, Hurt/Comfort, Kageyama kept touching, M/M, More like Sugamomma, Sugawara?, Super fluffy after they work out this issue, They'll get through this, Why Did I Write This?, sad hinata
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-05-06
Packaged: 2018-10-24 20:17:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10749051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RandomFujoshi/pseuds/RandomFujoshi
Summary: Kageyama was drunk. Kageyama forced himself onto Hinata. Hinata wanted their first time to be special. Hinata feels emotionally hurt. SUGAWARA-SANTO THE RESCUE! They'll be okay, they just need more understanding.





	1. The Beginning, But the End

Kageyama was drunk, and he was doing things to Hinata that Hinata did not like. 

“K-Kageyama stop that, I d-don’t want to do that kind of thing”, Hinata repeated as Kageyama kissed his neck. “Yes you do Hinata. We both want this, and I’m doing it regardless”, Kageyama said as he moved his lips down to Hinata’s nipples. Kageyama was using one hand to pin Hinata’s arms away so Hinata couldn’t move. His other hand was brushing against Hinata’s nipple as he sucked the other 

“Kageyama! I s-said stop! You c-can’t just do that w-without my permission”, Hinata said as he held in a moan. _I don’t want our first time to happen like this. Drunk Kageyama is meaner Kageyama._ “I’m your boyfriend”, Kageyama said while unzipping Hinata’s pants, “I don’t need permission”.  

Kageyama continued to violate him drunkenly, doing things that Hinata may have liked if the circumstances were different. Hinata was crying as Kageyama thrust into him, thinking to himself _I don’t like this, I don’t want this_. As soon as Kageyama came, he fell asleep.  

Hinata leaves. He’s angry, and sad, and confused. “ _When someone loves you, they will listen when you say no_ ” _,_ His mother had told him. _Kageyama didn’t stop, even when I said no and said he was hurting me. He didn’t stop._   

Hinata ran straight home, refusing to wait for his mother to pick him up. Tears, Hinata was in tears. No amount of explaining would be able to fix the whole Kageyama put in his heart. _We both want this_ , Kageyama had said. The thing is Hinata didn’t want that, at least not yet.  

The first thing Hinata did when he got home was take a shower, and he scrubbed himself at least ten times. He threw his other outfit away, especially the white under wear that had pink in them (because of the mixture of cum and blood). 

Hinata was now sitting on his bed, thinking about what to do. _Call Suga-san_ , _He always has the answers,_ he thought to himself. Hinata picked up his cellphone. He called Sugawara. 

“ _Hello, this is Koushi speaking”_  

 _“_ Hey Suga-san” 

“ _Oh, hey Hinata!”_  

 _“_ What’re you doing?” 

“ _Um, just things with Daichi.”_  

 _*Says while slight moan can be heard*_  

 _“_ Oh, then nevermind” 

 _“Wait! Hinata you sound upset._ _Tell me what’s up”_  

“It’s just, I don’t know how to say. It’s embarrassing” 

 _“I don’t care; I won’t judge you”_  

“Well I went to Kageyama’s house. It was fun and everything, but then Kageyama started drinking. It wasn’t too bad at first, because I could manage. After a while though he started… _touching_ me and I told him to stop but he didn’t. And then he…….” 

*crying* 

“ _He didn’t stop when you said no? I know your hurting right now Hinata, both physically and emotionally. Although I love Kageyama, you need time to yourself to get your values straight._ _He forced you into having sex, it doesn’t mean less because you’re dating. Kageyama needs time to get himself straight so he doesn’t hurt you”_  

“I knew you’d have the answer Suga-san, and thank you again. I’m sorry for interrupting you and Daichi doing _things_ ” 

 _“Haha, no problem,_ _my team_ _’_ _s problems come before sex”_  

“TOO MUCH INFORMATION SUGA-SAN” 

“ _Haha! Goodnight Hinata!”_  

“Goodnight Suga” 

The next day, Hinata avoided Kageyama at school. He didn’t even show up to practice early like usual. He went once he knew other people would be there. He didn’t even talk to Kageyama.  

Too bad he couldn’t leave without Kageyama noticing. Kageyama ran up to Hinata and gave him a big hug from behind. “Oi, Hinata”, Kageyama said calmly. Hinata wiggled out of his hug. “You shouldn’t touch people without permission”, Hinata said facing Kageyama. “I’m your boyfriend”, Kageyama said placing a kiss on Hinata’s forehead, “I don’t need permission”.  

That exact phrase. Kageyama had said that exact same thing before violating Hinata beyond repair. He’d said that before digging into Hinata’s pants, and touching him where the sun doesn’t shine. He’d said that before he made Hinata bleed and cry rivers. Hinata snapped. 

Kageyama didn’t even know what happened. All of a sudden he felt a burning sensation on his cheek, and then realized it was Hinata who’d slapped him. Kageyama was confused. “All I said was ‘I’m your boyfriend, I don’t need permission’!”, Kageyama repeated. “Well maybe you shouldn’t be my boyfriend!”, Hinata said walking off. _I just got dumped. I just got dumped by the same boy who said he wanted to be with me forever. I don’t understand_. 

Hinata rode his bike straight home, sad that he just broke up with Kageyama, but angry that Kageyama didn’t understand why he was so mad. 

Kageyama stood there, right by the exit of the gym, for a while. The team had been getting undressed in the locker room and didn’t see what happened. Kageyama had tears running down his cheek. _Maybe I called him dumbass one too many times, or he found someone better, or maybe my hugs are horrible and he would prefer different hugs,_ Kageyama thought.  

The team came out the locker room, and saw Kageyama standing there wide-eyed and tearful. Tears still came down his face, but his expression didn’t change. _Maybe I’m just not good enough_ , Kageyama thought to himself. 

“Are you okay Kageyama?”, Sugawara asked remembering the conversation he had with Hinata the night before. “I don’t understand what I did wrong. He just hit me and left”, Kageyama said as he walked away, eyes still filled with tears.  

That night Kageyama cried and cried. He hadn’t felt this broken since his team left him. _I can’t do anything right_ , _no matter what they’ll leave me. Even Hinata, who said he’d spike my tosses forever left me, it’s me. I messed up somewhere,_ Kageyama thought. 

Kageyama’s phone started to buzz. It was Sugawara. 

“ _Hey Kageyama, are you okay_ _?”_  

“Y-yes Sugawara-san” 

“ _You don’t sound okay Kageyama”_  

“It’s nothing, honestly” 

“ _What about Hinata?”_  

*Kageyama starts crying* 

“I-it’s r-really n-nothing” 

“ _Do you know why he did what he did?”_  

 _“_ No, he j-just hit me and l-left” 

“ _Ask him, and don’t get to confrontational. Make sure you make him feel safe and loved”_  

 _“_ Okay, and th-thanks Sugawara-san” 

“ _Bye! And Daichi said you better be at practice tomorrow!”_  

 _“_ Okay” 

Kageyama hung up, and fell back on his bed. He sat there for 5 minutes before deciding to go to Hinata’s house. He needed answers, and he wanted his smol sun back. 


	2. Not Deserved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for going so long without updating, standardized tests (all American). Also my wifi went out for like, 2 days, and my computer got fixed. Hopefully this doesn't sound like a wrote it at 2:00 in the morning, because I did.

Kageyama knocked, one, two, three times. He knew Hinata’s parents were never home, but Hinata was definitely here. “H-Hinata! Please open the door!”, Kageyama yelled. 

On the other side Hinata was crying. _I want to open the door, b-but what if he touches me again_ , Hinata thought to himself. “N-No Kageyama! L-leave”, Hinata managed to say. He loved Kageyama, but he didn’t want Kageyama to touch him like that again. He didn’t want Kageyama to hurt him like that again. He couldn’t even look Kageyama in the eyes without remembering. 

Kageyama fell to his knees, on Hinata’s door step. “P-please Hinata! I-I just want to talk for you, even if it’s only for a second!”, He shouted as tears fell from his eyes. “S-stay outside! We c-can talk, but you h-have to stay outside!”, Hinata said crying into his hands.  

Kageyama nodded, although Hinata couldn’t exactly see it. “I don’t know what I did wrong. I know I’m not the best at planning dates, and ate all of your gummy-bears that one time, but I love you okay! Tell me what you want and I’ll do it!”, Kageyama shouted. 

Hinata looked even more upset than before.  “It’s not something you can just fix Kageyama! You touched me, and didn’t stop even when I told you too. You kept touching me even when I said it hurts! I didn’t want that!” 

“The worst part is, you were drunk. You can’t control yourself when you’re drunk. I don’t want to feel like that again, but that doesn’t mean you won’t drink again and rape me!”, Hinata said, startled himself. Hinata cupped his mouth, astonished by the words that came out of his mouth.  

Kageyama gasped. He began sobbing. “I-I raped you? Oh god, I…I love you and I r-raped you. I-It makes sense now. I don’t think I would be able to forgive anyone if they…I touched you and I h-hurt you…I”, Kageyama said in between cries. _I’m horrible, I deserve this_ , Kageyama thought to himself. “H-Hinata I…I can’t believe myself. I say I love you b-but as soon as some alcohol gets into my system, I hurt you? I deserve to be shunned. I hug you, then turn around and _rape_ you”, Kageyama said ashamed of himself. 

Hinata was still crying on the other side. “I-I don’t want to shun you! That’s the problem. I can’t be without you, but I’m scared to live with you. I can’t look into your eyes without thinking about that night, but I can’t recover without looking into your beautiful eyes Kageyama! I’m lost, a-and I don’t know what I want”. 

Kageyama was at his breaking point now. “Hinata, you _need_ someone who you don’t have to be afraid of. You want me to be that person, but I raped you and that feeling may never go away. For your _own_ good, I don’t need to be a major part of your life. I want you just as bad as you want me, but I hurt you Hinata!”, Kageyama said crying.  

Hinata bit his lip. “I-I know that! I just can’t hate you, ya know? My heart hurts and I can’t stop crying, but when I think of all the good times between us I want to smile! I know I shouldn’t love you and be afraid of you, but I can’t help it. Maybe it _is_ because I just want you to be the person to comfort me. Either way I have to have you by my side!”, Hinata through the door, still crying.  

Kageyama winced. “Hinata, you don’t _need_ me. You _want_ me. You _deserve_ someone like Sugawara who’d never hurt you the way I did. You _deserve_ someone you can trust, and not be afraid of. I _scare_ you Hinata, to the point where you’ll only talk to me from the other side of the door. I want you to be happy Hinata! I _raped_ you, and you still love me. I want your love, but I don’t _deserve_ your love”, Kageyama added before picking himself up and walking down Hinata’s driveway.  

Hinata turned, and looked out his living room window.  Kageyama was wiping his eyes, and walking away. Hinata did the first thing that came to his mind. He opened the door, and ran. He latched on to Kageyama’s face as his foot was about to reach the road. “D-don’t leave. Please. I know we can’t solve this ourselves, so I’ll call Sugawara over to tell us what to do. J-just, please don’t leave”, Hinata said biting his lip.  

Kageyama paused. 


End file.
